Overwhelmed

third in a series on Anxiety

If you haven't read part 1 (Calm) or part 2 (Worried) go check them out before reading this post.

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And now for a disclaimer: I am not a medical professional of any sort, much less a psychologist or psychiatrist. The information and suggestions below are from my own personal experience of dealing with anxiety and its effects on my life for decades. I have not perfected any of this. My goal with these posts is to draw attention to a subject that at times has been taboo among Christian circles, to let you know that if you struggle with this as a believer you are not alone, and hopefully to help your loved ones gain some insight into what it feels like to deal with anxiety. We started with the practice of Calm, because that is always the goal of where we want to be, or where we want to get back to as easily as possible. We talked about Worried, which is a pretty normal state of life in the modern age. In this post we will talk about Overwhelmed, which, in my opinion, is the beginning stage of a struggle that is not 'normal' or 'healthy.' If you find my description below something that you can relate to often, then my first recommendation is that you find a professional (doctor, pastor, or counselor) to talk to about it. There are a lot of options available now, and it will be helpful to understand where you're at. Meanwhile, this post shares my own experience with feelings of Overwhelm and how to move back to Calm.

Your heart is racing, you can't catch your breath, it feels like the world is spinning. Your muscles are all tight, ready to spring. Or, maybe you just left your friend's house without any explanation because you just can't be there anymore. Or, maybe you're laying in bed and the thought of getting up, much less going to work, is too much. Your muscles are slack, and loathe the idea of movement. These are all examples of being Overwhelmed and how it can affect us. Overwhelmed is actually a natural state, but if it is occurring more often that it should it can represent a problem. You may have experienced Overwhelmed when you were in physical danger. Maybe you were in a car accident or a fire. Maybe you were injured or threatened with a weapon. Those would all be normal circumstances (and there are more) that trigger a fight, flight, or freeze response. When Overwhelmed becomes a problem is when it happens under less extraordinary situations. I have, for instance, been Overwhelmed by a laundry basket before. I sat and stared at it and literally could not handle the thought of moving it to the laundry room even though I had been doing laundry independently for years. When I realized this was not a normal reaction, I was able to get help and get back on the path to Calm.

Worried, 12x12 acrylic on canvas by Kimberly Lavoie

Overwhelmed, 12x12 acrylic on canvas by Kimberly Lavoie

Worried (L) and Overwhelmed (R) - each 12x12 acrylic on canvas by Kimberly Lavoie

I continued the sequence of my anxiety paintings with the same basic symbols, the background represents the external world, the figure represents the person, and the circular shape represents the person's internal world. Comparing Worried side-by side with Overwhelmed helps define the differences and arrive at some action steps to address the issues.

First, notice that the person is brown rather that brownish-green. Any semblance of health is gone. The person is also almost invisible behind their internal world. We'll get to that in a moment.

Second, you can see that the background is even more random, and there is no green at all in the background. Green, if you recall is the healthy interactions the person has with their environment. Because the person is unhealthy their interactions with the external world are also unhealthy. The external world doesn't make sense at all.

Third, the internal world is so dysregulated that it has almost taken the person over. Others who interact with them will not see the person as much as their emotional responses to pretty much everything. There's no order in the internal world. In Worried at least the colors line up and stay in a defined space. In Overwhelmed the colors are separate, but disorganized. The internal world doesn't make sense either.

Are your thoughts tangled, too?

What pushes Worry into Overwhelm?

I can't speak for everyone, but for me, I move from Worry to Overwhelm when some combination of these circumstances occur: I am over-tired, over-committed, or over-invested.

• Over-tired is when I have pushed myself for some season or for some reason to operate with less rest, less fuel, and less margin. I wake up early, stay up late, eschew breaks, and drive faster. I eat the quick frozen food instead of a fresh salad and fruit. I have to finish this project by this time or these goals will not be met. This is a recipe for depleting both physical and emotional health.

  
  

• Over-committed is when I have said "Yes" to too many things. Sometimes this is unintentional - I already have a manageable schedule and then a new obligation surfaces that I don't really have time or energy for, but I can squeeze it in. That can work for a little while until the next unexpected thing comes up.

  
  

• Over-invested is when I have lost an accurate perspective of how important a goal or event is. It's easy to get wrapped up in a dream and to focus on it so much that it becomes all-consuming, but in the big picture there really aren't that many things that are eternally important.

How do we get back to Calm?

Again, you may need other steps, but for me getting back to Calm from Overwhelmed means I need serious doses of rest, boundaries, and perspective.

Balance is elusive

• Rest may be more than just a good night's sleep, though that's always a good place to start. It might mean taking some time to pray and ask God to help you get back to Calm. It might mean working on a small project that will give you some sense of accomplishment and agency - for me catching up on the dishes or folding laundry makes me feel like I am restoring order to a small corner of my world. Fix your hair, take a long shower, or a short fast walk. Make a list of things that usually help you feel great and pick one of them that feels the least daunting. In short, take care of yourself for at least a little while each day.

  
  

• Boundaries might mean stepping away from some commitment for a while. It definitely means not taking on anything new, no matter who is asking or how good of a cause it may seem to be. Practice saying, "I'm sorry, I just don't have the bandwidth to help with that right now." It is hard, and you may have to repeat yourself, but for your own well-being it is essential.

  
  

• Perspective comes from spending time with God. He knows the full picture in all of the dimensions. He knows what will be. He knows us. Spending time with God helps us remember that our problems, compared to His promises, are small.

  
  

  "And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?...But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you." - Jesus (Matthew 6:27,33 ESV)

  
  

  Worship, scripture, and prayer allow us to bring our concerns to God and listen for His encouragement, direction, and love.

Maybe you don't personally struggle with Overwhelm, but you love someone who does. How can you help? Listen - not just to what they are concerned about, but how you can encourage them. Maybe they need to hear that it is okay to get help with this struggle. Maybe take something off of their to do list. Maybe create space for that nap, walk, or shower. Help them say no - be on their side when they decline a new commitment. Pray for them. Pray with them! Remind them of God's love, and yours.

If you have other experiences or ideas about Overwhelm and how to get back to Calm, feel free to share them in the comments. Meanwhile, here's some worship music that helps me when I am Overwhelmed.

Hallelujah Even Here by Lydia Laird

Broken Prayers by Riley Clemmons

Faithfully by TobyMac