Panic
- KDL
- Dec 6, 2024
- 7 min read
Updated: Dec 12, 2024
fourth in a series on Anxiety
If you have not had the chance yet, please read the previous posts in this series before reading this post. Click here for Calm, Worried, and Overwhelmed.
And now for a brief disclaimer. I am not a medical professional of any sort, much less a mental health expert. The ideas shared here are hard won strategies and tools that I have used in my own journey with anxiety. If you find that you are struggling with anxiety, particularly if it rises to the level of Overwhelm or Panic, please seek professional support from a Pastor, Counselor, or Doctor. If you do not struggle with anxiety yourself but love someone who does, I hope this series has given you more perspective on what your loved one is up against. I hope it helps you help them. Possibly your most important way of providing help is encouraging them to find the help and resources they need.
Panic is anxiety at its worst. It can arise completely unexpectedly, or it can build slowly. It can be triggered by specific events, or even by reminders of specific events. Here's a brief story that illustrates how panic can rear its head.
In 2013 I was driving home after picking up my twins from preschool. The road we usually take home was blocked, so I took an alternate route that I was less familiar with. The car in front of me was driving slowly and seemed even more lost than I was, so I kept a little distance from them. We approached a three-way stop T-intersection and the car in front of me stopped, and then turned left. Because of the gap I had left between us it took me a few seconds to reach the intersection and stop. Meanwhile, the other car had made a U-turn and headed downhill, back toward the intersection I was sitting at. I was just checking the intersection when I realized the other car was headed my way, and going very fast! The car T-boned my van and was going so fast that my van skidded sideways into the curb and broke the right-front wheel off the axle. The usual post-accident chaos ensued with emergency vehicles, statements from witnesses, and me trying to calm my children. I didn't realize the emotional toll until later. I was walking in our neighborhood and a car made an unexpected U-turn on the street in front of me. Panic! I froze. I started hyper-ventilating. My hands started shaking and I had to take a few moments to realize that everything was actually okay. To this day, other cars making U-turns triggers an outsized nervous reaction in me, though now it's usually just a brief moment of "Oh!" Narrow roads, especially if they are crowded, make my pulse race. Don't get me started on tunnels.
A short moment of Panic like the one described above with a specific trigger is relatively easy to manage. One develops a sort of routine of avoiding that trigger as much as possible. When it's not something you can avoid (like a random stranger making a U-turn) you develop self-talk instead. "U-Turns happen. That one was safe. You are okay. Everything is normal." You take a few deep breaths and get back to whatever you were doing. Panic gets harder when it is longer-lived and/or if the trigger is unclear.
Panic (L) and Overwhelmed (R), both 12 x 12 acrylic on canvas by Kimberly Lavoie
I am fortunate that my longer Panic moments have been few and far between. Usually I also know where the Panic is coming from, the specific circumstances that are making my pulse race, making it impossible to catch my breath, making my head spin with irrational thoughts that I can't control. As with the other states of anxiety, I decided to represent Panic through art. Let's take the elements one at a time.
First, note that the background of Panic is solid black. As in previous stages the background represents the person's exterior world, ideas and events that they interact with in whatever state they are functioning in. A person experiencing Panic can completely lose touch with the exterior world. They feel alone, like they have moved to a separate very scary plane of existence. Interacting with the exterior world does not seem possible or desirable.
Second, the person is completely obscured. In Overwhelmed there are still small pieces of them peeking out, but in Panic it seems the person has disappeared. Again they feel disconnected, and people interacting with them may only see emotion and behavior, like the person they love isn't really there. I want to say that I did actually draw the person into this art piece. The person IS there. The person you love IS there. It takes a great deal of care and attention to SEE them.
Third, the circular form that represents the internal world is larger than ever, and more disorganized than ever. One color swirls into the next with no pattern or predictability. These big feelings and disorganized thoughts are hard to express, understand, and contain. I do want to note that at the center of the swirl there is a defined red center. If you remember from Calm, this center represents the person's core, most important belief. For me this represents God. God IS there. One may not feel Him, but He is there.
The goal is always to get back to Calm, so how does one go from Panic to Calm? Let's be real... you might only get back to Overwhelmed initially, but Overwhelmed is better than Panic! Maybe from Overwhelmed you can get back to Worried - even better. However far the steps take you, the steps are the same.
Pray - You are there and God is there. Connect yourself to God with prayer. In some practices prayer is a complicated process with specific postures, accessories, words, etc. In my experience, prayer can be quite simple. "Help!" Just say it. God will hear and answer. Say it again until you are sure that God is there.
Breathe - There are a lot of different breathing techniques that can help you get your breath under control. Hyperventilating is itself stress-inducing because it exacerbates physical symptoms that make you feel out of control. One key is to breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. Breathe in through your nose for as long as you can, hold it for a moment and then breathe out through your mouth for as long as you can. Repeat this pattern trying to make each step a little longer as you continue the pattern. If someone is with you they can help by reminding you of the steps. I recommend practicing some different breathing patterns and finding one that makes you feel Calm. It's important to practice before you are in Panic so that it's a comfortable and familiar routine. Share the breathing pattern with anyone who may be around to support you in moments of Panic.
Reconnect - This is also known as grounding. You need to get out of that scary alternate plane and back to your normal exterior world. Again there are a lot of methods for doing this. My favorite engages all of your senses and can also fit nicely with a breathing practice.
Five - name five things you can see (5 breaths)
Four - name four things you can touch (4 breaths)
Three - name three things you can hear (3 breaths)
Two - name two things you can smell (2 breaths)
One - name one thing you can taste (1 breath)
Reconnecting with the world around you can help you find yourself, too. If someone is supporting you they can help you remember the steps or repeat back the things you are seeing, touching, etc. Affirming your experience will encourage the grounding process. "Yes, you can see a flower, I see it too..."
When you are more sure of yourself you can start again with prayer, maybe expressing more of what you are feeling or thinking "I really need Calm, God, please meet me here." Continue with breathing and reconnecting until the Panic is over. Think of this as a cycle rather than a 1-2-3-done process.
If you love someone who struggles with anxiety you may witness them experiencing Panic. There are some key things to remember:
Your instinct may be to wrap the person in a hug or hold their hand. Please ask first! Ideally you have talked about this before the Panic experience begins. For some people physical touch is dysregulating, meaning a hug will push them further into distress. If you haven't talked about it and you go in for a hug, don't be dismayed if they resist or push you away. Don't be offended. They are deep in fight or flight mode. Respect their wishes. Process how it made you feel with someone else afterward if you need to, but try not to take it personally.
Do what you can to help them in the moment. Help them get to a safe place. Pray with them. Breathe with them. Help them reconnect. Shoo away anyone who is interfering in any way with getting them grounded and calmer.
After the episode they may feel embarrassed that you have seen them in Panic. Reassure them that you see them, that you love them, that you are doing your best to understand how anxiety is a struggle for them, and that you are willing to do what you can to help. Try not to overreact, but to return to regular interactions as much as possible. Talk about it only if they want to.
Encourage them to find the professional support and resources they need to spend more of life in Calm.
In closing, I will share a few songs that have reached me in moments of Panic. Feel free to share in the comments any steps that you have found helpful in moving out of Panic and back toward Calm.
"When I Fall" by Katy Nichole
"Anxious Heart" by Jeremy Camp
"Shattered" by Blanca
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